Ivan's Ravenous Oven - Exploded MeRcuwEE~!!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

You're supposed to get below 30 points in total to be considered a GOOD kid; anything OVER & your BAD.

[ ] smoked `Cough cough.
[x] drink alcohol `WhY NorrT. Won't get caught one la. Who ask u drink in fron tof police.
[x] slept with someone of the opposite sex `Grandma.
[x] slept with someone of the same sex `Brother
[x] gotten into any fights `Love fights.
[x] kissed someone of the opposite sex `Grandma and mom/
[x] kissed someone of the same sex `my mum again . xD
[x] had someone in your room of the opposite sex `my cousins .
[x] scold vulgarities `mY Language
[ ] bought porn `Dumb.
TOTAL: 8

[ ] taken drugs `no one sell to me .
[x] hate going to the doctors `who loves going to doctors !?
[x] lied to your parents `many many many many times .
[x] lied to a friend `yeh .
[ ] sneak out of the house `Don't have to.
[x] done something illegal `Tons.
[ ] cut yourself `I'm mentally fit. (sometimes,somewhat,somehow)
[x] hurt someone `uhhuh .
[x] wished someone to die `ThaT Dumbass sissy chao aHGuA Pee Ahh Chew.
[ ]seen someone die `Nahhx. Would love to. (not my family kayys)
TOTAL: 6

[ ] missed curfew `wads that
[ ] stayed out all night `I need to sleep.
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself `why not.
[ ] been to a therapist `nope .
[ ] been to rehab `nope .
[x] dyed your hair `one day onli.
[ ] received a ticket `movie ticket?
[ ] been in a wreck `shipwreck ? carwreck ? simi wreck .
[ ] been to a club `Enviromental club? !Kung Bushmen club? wEE~ club? MeRcuRy club?
[ ] been to a bar `nope .
TOTAL: 2

[ ] been to a wild party `Norrt YET.
[ ] seen the Mardi Gras `wads that .
[x] had a fight `duh.
[ ] had a spring break in Florida `nvr go florida before .
[x] sniffed anything `Glue and Highlighter.
[ ] wore black nail polish before `Chinese Calligraphy ink?
[x] worn wrist bands `Spikes.
[ ] wore t-shirts with band names `nope .
[ ] wore black eyeliner `Hello? A guy here.
[x] own a 50 cent CD `Game
TOTAL: 4

[x] hugged someone of the opposite sex `Grandma
[x] hugged someone of the same sex `Dad,Bro,Uncle,Fwens,Fraser Tiong.XD
[x] gone out with someone of the opposite sex `frens lur .
[x] gone out with someone of the same sex `like , duh ?!
[x] stole something `Money, Stationary,Shoplift
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything `I've never got drunk. Very hot though.
[ ] blacked out `nope .
[ ] fainted `nope .
[ ] had a crush on your neighbour `my neighbour is a BOY.
[ ] had someone else snuck into your room `nah .
TOTAL: 5

[ ] snuck into someone else's room `Don't have to.
[ ] had a crush on someone of the same sex `im not a gay .
[x] had gone and watched movies with friends `like , duh ?!
[ ] dry humped someone `wads the meanin of that .
[ ] been called a sut `Guys can;t be suts
[x] called someone a sl*t `many people, many times . xD
[ ] installed speakers in your car `Uncles van have.I dun have cars.
[ ] broke a mirror `nope .
[ ] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house `Haven't gone to a girl's house before.
[x] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush `Families'
TOTAL: 3

[ ] consider Mac,Dr Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper `dunno wads that .
[ ] seen an R rated movie `p0rn?o.0
[x] going out with friends to the mall `duh .
[x] skipped school `Feigned illness
[ ] had an eating disorder `nope .
[ ] had hurt yourself `by wad ? falling down ? heartbroken ?
[ ] gone to court `nope .
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying `I don;t go to restaurants. You gotta pay before you can go aT Macdonald's.
[ ] caught something on fire `-.-''
[x] lied about your age `WhY norrt.
TOTAL: 3

[ ] owned an apartment `no $$$ .
[ ] cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend `I'm norrt that kind of person.
[x] cheated with someone `With Michelle for ACC TesT.
[ ] got in trouble with the police `nope . im not trouble .
[x] talked to a stranger `uhhuh .
[ ] hugged a stranger `I don't rape.
[ ] kissed a stranger `I don't rape.
[ ] rode in the car with a stranger `nope . i dont get cheated by TooTs.
[ ] been sexually harassed `By Jonathan.-.-''
[x] been verbally harassed `Duhh. bY OnG Yu TooT.
TOTAL: 3

[ ] met face to face with someone you met online `nope .
[x] stayed online for 12 hours straight `27 hours
[ ] talked on the phone for more than 6 hours `I don;t waste money. I'd rather go online.
[x] watched TV for 12 hours straight `DuH.
[x] been to a fair `duh .
[x] been called a bad influence `DuH.
[ ] been cursed `yeh . bY that sissy Ong TooT Xiang.
[x] prank called someone `hehehe .
[ ] laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex `WouLd LovE To.
[x] cheated on a test `WhY NorrT,
TOTAL: 6

[x] cheated on homework `who doesnt !?
[x] held hands with someone of the same sex `my besties xD
[ ] wants to be dead `FoR ThE SakE oF FwEns. BuT FwEns CaN MakE 0nE DiE
[ ] cuts yourself `no thx .
[x] hate yourself `Kind of.
[ ] had a crush on someone 10 years older than you `3 months and 2 months have.-.-''
[x] had a crush on someone younger than you `Nahhx. God Dammit. wEE~ Dammit. MeRcuRy Dammit.
[ ] worn eyeliner `I'm a... GUY!
[x] worn contact lens `Troublesome.
[ ] laughed at someone who was seriously hurt `I've got limit. NorrT LikE OnG Yu XianG ThE F(_)CKING MUSTARD.
TOTAL: 5

GRAND TOTAL: 45 `Pai aS EvEr.

9:23:00 PM

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Location: Singapore

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WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britains : I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you
want
in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets
for
you.
We say : No Stock leh.

RETURNING A CALL
Britains: Hello, this is Mr wEE. Did anyone page for me a few
moments
ago?
We say : Ehh, who page arh?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britains: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
We say : S-kew mE. Siam leh.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britains: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
We say : I pEh I pEh!!

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britains: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to
enter
through this door?
We say : (pointing the door) Can anot?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britains : Please make yourself right at home.
We say : Don't shy shy lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britains : I don't recall you giving me the money.
We say : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britains : I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
We say : Don't want lah...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britains : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where
you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the
issue.
We say : You siao ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britains : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying
to
concentrate over here.
We say : Tiam tiam lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britains : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time..
Do I
know you?
We say : See what see? Fight arh?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britains : We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
We say : Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britains : Will someone tell me what has just happened?
We say : What happen Why like that....

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britains : This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
We say : Like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britains : Would you mind not disturbing me? I'm getting annoyed!!
We say : Kanina wan die isit!!

So what's wrong with our language? Its simple, short, concise, to the
point
and effective!
Effectiveness is what communication is all about. XD

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